Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
