He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
