she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
