Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
