I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
