Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Let's get the cat blown out
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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