i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
