This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
