Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
