During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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