Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
