$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
