Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
return my video game
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
