She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
