Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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