Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
