dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
