11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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