the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
