super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
