Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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