literally had 100 drinks last night.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
