I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
