Me. At least after what I've been through.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
