so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
