Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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