I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
