Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
