I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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