would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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