We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
