Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm at about main and main street
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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