I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
