I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
