I am midnight drunk by noon
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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