Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
