why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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