were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
