She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
