I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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