Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My breasts were aching with rage.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
