I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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