I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
