its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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