It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
