i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
