He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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