I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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