I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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