Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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